Raising tiny humans is hard, there’s no doubt about it. My utmost respect goes to the loving parents and dedicated educators out there who are helping to mold a brighter, better future for us all.
But putting all the accolades aside, parenting in itself is one hell of a strategic set of moves where small steps go a long way. And there are so many tactics from ‘how to’ and ‘what not to do’ when raising kids that they inevitably stir some debate. I mean, some parenting trends are really controversial—just think of family TikTok accounts. Some say it's an awesome way to communicate and spread the message, others think it may promote negative experiences often tied with social media.
So who’s right? We may not exactly know, but we can find out what common parenting trends people see as nonsense. “What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?” asked a Redditor called Qquackie and the answers started pouring in. Below are some of the most interesting ones!
#1Not vaccinating your child.
Image credits: FarOutSonOfLung
#2That thing where they pretend they got their kids a ps5 for example, the kids are freaking out with excitement, but then its just a ps5 box filled with books or something.
Image credits: MacyTmcterry
#3The “bulldozer” parent - ie the parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great.
Image credits: spinefexmouse
#4Fake “Gentle Parenting”
You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions.
Image credits: canadainuk
#5I don’t know how much of a trend it was but on TikTok, there was a trend of parents throwing away their kid's art in front of them and the parents would like laugh while the kid was sobbing.
That’s f**ked up! Of course, you can’t keep every artwork your kid makes but you throw it away when they aren’t home or asleep. My mom used to wait until I was asleep and throw it away in the outside can
The kids I babysit their parents ask me to take their art they do with me so it doesn’t pile up but I tell them I’m keeping it because it’s so good
There’s no reason to make your kid feel like they aren’t a good artist or just feel like their parents don’t care for some TikTok views
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#6telling kids that studying is the only thing that they do in choldhood and that everything else is just useless stuff
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#7Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this.
One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues.
What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty.
Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers.
My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now.
Image credits: cleaning-meaning
#8Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're "talking back". I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?
Image credits: EntryRepresentative5
#9All of the "wine mom" merch, down to shirts for children that say horrible things like: "I'm the reason Mommy drinks"
Like, dress it up as much as you want, but "alchololism" isn't cute, as much as you want to convince yourself of it. Let alone, clothing for your CHILD who didn't ask to be born, to be treated like their existence is a burden to you. I've seen stuff like this in the kids section, from infancy to middle school sizes.
That's a trauma trifecta right there.
Image credits: Storm137
#10Making your child terrified to fail. I remember constantly being told if I ever even got a “C” or below— on even something as minor as a pop quiz— I would be “flipping burgers for a living.” I was so unmotivated to even try by the time high school came, because it had been drilled into me that I was destined to be a loser.
Image credits: S**tStuckInYourTeeth
#11Making your kids spend time with family even though they get treated bad. Like inlaws who would rather spend time with their other grandkids and not yours.
Image credits: Caligirl0310
#12Talking down to kids and making them feel stupid. Sure maybe at 5 they aren't the most intellectual people, but 9/10 year old are smarter then people give them credit for. Don't talk to then like they are stupid because they are not. The only thing that does is lower their self esteem and makes them feel small.
Image credits: _ManWhoSoldTheWorld_
#13Nonstop supervision. Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?
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#14Letting the kid make all the choices. I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way.
Image credits: cihojuda
#15When I was a teenager my parents took away the door to my room.
It's normal for teenagers to pull away from their parents, I guess this wasn't acceptable to her and she wanted to keep an eye on me at all times.
I still have severe issues relating back to this one action. This is after years of therapy and no contact.
To anyone considering this as some form of "punishment", Let me stop you right there. Nothing will get your child to disown you faster than not giving them privacy.
I think she got the idea from Dr.phil Useless c*nts, the both of them.
Image credits: Gabriel_Godot
#16Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles.
Image credits: AJSK18
#17Not saying no to your child. They have to learn to deal with a no sometimes, and having a chat about why it is no and whether it could be a yes another time is also an important part of them learning to deal with no.
Image credits: coocoorookoo121
#18Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions.
They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle.
Image credits: IAmRules
#19not educating your kids about sex because it's an "uncomfortable topic"
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#20Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places
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#21Letting your kids run amok everywhere and then being furious when other people are annoyed. I'm an older mom. I was raised with the idea that you have a social contract with others to not be a pain in the a**. I don't let my kids go nuts in public. When they are having a hard time, we leave. I don't expect them to be angels for hours in adult situations, but being told to not be loud and crazy at the grocery or in line somewhere is not child abuse. Letting your kids be a hellion that everyone else cringes to see is so unfair to your kids.
#22Helicopter parenting, kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside o a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom.
Image credits: Cat_Astrophe_X
#23Pretending that not parenting is parenting.
'I wont tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!'
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#24Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society
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#25Not setting clear boundaries. You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences.
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#26Saying “what goes on in this house, stays in this house.” I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase.
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#27always letting kids win/do what they want, its unfair on older siblings because i get given chores and my little sister gets to sit about doing nothing and getting whatever she wants completely free
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#28The thing every parents including mine said. "Finish your plate" or "Finish your plate or you won't get any dessert".
It gave you an unnecessary goal to shove food you don't want down your throat and made that into a lifelong habit. Fortunately I've always been into sports but many aren't, so now obesity is everywhere.
I knew it was a bad habit and I wouldn't stay fit for my entire life if I kept eating until I get a stomachache every single meal so I worked hard for years to finaly get rid of this habit in my early 20s when I moved into my apartment.
I will never do this to my kids.
Image credits: LoganCifer
#29Making children hug people they are not comfortable with.
#30Parents incorporating personal wellness buzzwords into their excuses for being neglectful and sometimes even abusive to their kids. Like "I shouldn't have to owe my own time and money to somebody whose behavior just isn't contributing to my happiness and positive energy blah blah blah they're exploiting the legal and societal pressures on—" sir that is a fourteen-year-old you literally chose to raise and no amount of talking like a self-help book will change thay, grow up.
#31'My son/daughter is my best friend.'
No, they aren't. They have their own friends and have the agency to choose them for themselves. Over the course of a lifetime, they will have several 'best friends' but they will only have one father and mother.
Your job is to be a parent. You can't do that properly if you are trying to be a friend.
Image credits: Ducra
#32Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once.
#33The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid.
When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games.
Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right?
Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements.
Image credits: littlebunsenburner
#34Trying to be your kid's "friend," not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes.
#35Not believing the teacher ever. “My kid never lies to me”.
Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing.
Image credits: jdith123
#36I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!
#37The whole “hands off parenting approach” drives me nuts to see parents never tell their kids no and just let them do whatever they want.
#38Never letting your children assert their own independence or experience things on their own. Congratulations, you've raised an anxious mess of a human being with zero life skills and no ability to cope in the real world.
#39The trend of never telling your child “no”. Apparently you’re supposed to reframe your objective with things like “yes, but”. Like instead of “no, you can’t have any candy”, you say “yes, but only after you eat your dinner”. Um, no. Kids need to hear and learn the meaning of no, because sometimes the answer is just NO. This trend is only going to lead to entitled adults.
#40Starting a kid in a single sport from an early age and making that their whole life for some goddamn reason
#41The one where everyone feels entitled to judge your choices. The thing I’ve learned as a parent is that every kid is different so you have to adapt. Don’t want screens/allow your kids reasonable screen time? Great. Breastfeed/formula feed? Great. Sleep train/don’t sleep train? Great. If you are a parent that is judging other parents for things that are reasonable (I am not referring to people who are being ridiculous or not parenting altogether) you’re a jerk.
#43Forcing your kid into every activity possible. It doesn’t create the structure they think it does.
#44demanding that other people do the parenting for them. whether it's shoving the burden onto teachers that are busy trying to teach them academics, or the newer "waaah, the internet needs to be regulated so my precious tots never see anything inappropriate on it! what do you mean i should supervise their use of the internet or wait until they're older?"
#45Calling you kid your “mini me.” It just makes me cringe every time I hear it.
#46Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses.
#47Either telling kids to do anything because "I told you so" or comparing them to friends/siblings
#48Having no discipline over your children BEFORE leaving the house. I hate to be THAT person. But I just remember growing up, that well before my parents even thought of, taking me to the grocery store or restaurant, I was well schooled on how to behave. And this was rather in front of company or not.
Now days and especially when I worked in retail, it just seemed some parents were trying to make everything a teachable moment on the spot or either damn near threatening to ring the kid's neck, cause they weren't listening to them. Like dude, start disciplining the kids early and at home. When family or friends are around and you might not have to struggle so hard or be so embarrassed, when little Johnny takes more than one cookie or won't stop running around the store.
#49Constantly telling your child that they’re the only reason for your existence and stuff like that. My mother does this cause we have both been mentally abused by my father. But this puts a s**t load of pressure on me. It also made me super anxious about anything I did. They’re also strict so when I moved to college I went wild. I would do what most college students did and had fun but during the nights I wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking about how she would be CRUSHED if she knew. I am anxious to the point I can’t tell her that I am sick and possibly dying. I love her but her way of showing her love suffocates me.
#50Treating a child like they’re dumb for things that are perfectly normal for their age.
#51Allowing kids to constantly mess with pets, even when the pet is giving warnings that they'll attack soon.
Parents, this is a pretty solid way to start teaching kids about consent from the get go.